If This Is My Comfort Zone, Why'm I So Uncomfortable?
By Charles Burke   ©2004 All Rights Reserved

I'm going to stick up my hand and ask a dumb question here: Why does everybody call it a "comfort zone"?

We're always hearing psychologists, psychiatrists, ministers, teachers, inspirational writers and speakers talking about comfort zones. We're too comfortable, they say. If we want to make progress, they say, we've got to be willing to move out of our comfort zone. I'm not quite sure where they get that. Most of the people I meet are pretty UNcomfortable in that so-called "comfort zone" of theirs. And they're interested in learning how to get MORE comfortable. Not LESS. Oh, I know the teachers are just trying to get us to move forward, toward a more beneficial life. But here's a shocking idea: nobody moves because they're comfortable. And nobody -- NOBODY -- moves out of a REAL comfort zone. Just look around you. Isn't it true? Most people only move when they've become so uncomfortable they can't stand the same old spot any longer. And even the most highly motivated among us has to be at least a little uncomfortable before they'll move. The writer W. Clement Stone called it inspirational discontent. Inspirational, yes, but still discontent... discomfort. When your "comfort" zone is that uncomfortable, how accurate is the description? Maybe it'd make more sense to call it a "Familiar Zone." That term fits better. Whether we're comfortable or not, it's a zone we're familiar with, which helps make it a little clearer why so many people refuse to move out of a spot they no longer like. Many people are like the old country boy standing waist deep in swamp water, batting away alligators with an axe handle and wondering what it would be like to live up there on dry land. So many people are surrounded by problems, spending most of their energy and time wrestling those problems, and wishing they didn't have the problems, but they don't move. Why? "Well, this swamp is my home. I'm familiar with it." That illustrates why I suggest changing the term. However, as interesting as that little change might be, most folks would rather know how to just go ahead and get more comfortable. So how do we do that? The short answer? Drag our tails up out of that swamp onto dry land where the alligators can't bite us anymore. Even from where we stand, down in the water, we can see that there are fewer alligators up there. And it's a lot drier. And we might live longer. But we don't move. Why don't we? Pretty simple, really. We just haven't decided to do it. There are usually only two reasons why we don't make that decision. Either we don't believe we CAN have it, or we don't believe we DESERVE to have it. Right there is the real core purpose of all self-help, positive thinking, and inspirational teachings. That core purpose is to somehow get us to believe we CAN have and we DESERVE to have something better. All those affirmations and goals and prayers and chants and visualizations and everything else we've been doing for years -- all of that is just an aid to help us believe in a possibility. Once we believe, then we can move -- if we actually want what we're aiming for. And that's why if you have chosen goals that don't turn you on at the deepest level, then I know for a fact that you probably haven't attained them. Or if you have reached them, you're not enjoying them. That's why, if you're visualizing a house or a car or a mate that doesn't really satisfy your deepest inner wants, you almost certainly won't be getting them. The people who attain their dreams are the ones who pick real dreams -- their wn dreams, not somebody else's. If you've ever slaved away over a lukewarm affirmation for days, weeks or months without ever even getting close to attaining your target, there's a simple explanation. That goal wasn't yours. It was a goal you heard somebody else suggest. Or it was a goal you thought you OUGHT to want because, well, I guess I SHOULD want a big new house and fast car and high income. When you find out what you really want, what you want as much as a starving man wants food, or a drowning man wants air, when you find what you really, really want, getting it will be quick, efficient and exciting. But self-help techniques are not for everybody. If you already know exactly what you want, you don't really need self-help books or tapes. Just act. The inner fire of your desire will bring what you want into existence in your life. Alternately, if there's nothing you want badly, hey, just relax. Stop beating yourself up for it. Maybe you are really, truly already in your comfort zone. So while the people all around you battle to reach their dreams, you can lean back, smile and enjoy your life. Self-help and self-motivation are for people who are not where they want to be, and they're having trouble making a connection with their desires. But if you're already there, and you already know (or possess) exactly what you want, relax and enjoy. You've got what all those other folks are straining so hard to get. While they're struggling to get out of their familiar zone, you're nice and snug in your comfort zone. But if you KNOW you're not comfortable, then get your tail out of that swamp now. You already know how. Stop thinking and just make it happen. And yes you CAN do it. Just start. And don't stop.

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CHARLES BURKE is the author of "Command More Luck," a book offering powerful suggestions for getting more cooperation from life, luck, and your own mind, especially in uncertain times. Whether you call it synchronicity, serendipity, or just plain old luck, you CAN become more "naturally lucky." Go to http://www.moreluck.com

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